3oth April 2012

Monday 30th April 2012
I watched a tv series show and suddenly some of the memories came back to me. I don't know why, but out of sudden i just felt that I had been treating him so bad. I shouldnt have do so. If, It's not because of me I dont think there's reason for us to break at all. Looks like I am repeating my own same mistakes. If only there's a chance for me to fix it, but I knew it wouldnt be possible. So, for now I just hope he will be happy and laugh as usual. I knew if I don't give up all of us are going to suffer. What I can do now is wishing that he is happy. Loving a person doesnt mean you have to get him/her. It can also mean wanting the person to be happy. I realizes that he is not happy when he is with me. So, why do I have to determine on it? I had been hurting 2 guys in my life. I dont have the right to love someone if I don't learn from my mistakes. I cant forgive myself for the mistakes I did. God had been giving two good guy in my life but I just dint appreciate them well. Regretting wont change anything. So, it's only the matter of changing. Before starting a relationship, I must be able to learn all my mistakes first. Or else, the outcome will still be the same.
My exam is near and I had been preparing since last week. So, I guess I can score it? Hopefully...